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Episode #117: Motivating an apathetic teen
Question of the Day:
Dear Torie My son is so apathetic. He is super smart and very capable, but he doesn’t seem to care about doing well in school. I feel like I’m failing because he isn’t living up to his potential. Any suggestions for motivating an apathetic teenager? PilarParent Educator Answer:
The good news is, nobody lives up to their potential so you can let that one go. We all always have more in us. Apathy is showing or feeling no enthusiasm, interest, or concern. It can be a sign of mental health problems. Without more information it’s hard for me to tell if depression is a factor, but here are some common signs to look for.
Life Coaching Answer:
What gets in your way from being at peace and allowing your kid to discover their own motivation in their own time? Parental Anxiety.

Supermom Kryptonite – Thinking you have to figure it out on your own
With information at our fingertips, it’s really easy to believe the toxic thought, “I should be able figure this out on my own.” This may sound logical, but notice how it makes you feel. My inner perfectionist used to love parenting books. I would learn new tools and tricks, feel empowered and confident, but two weeks later when I couldn’t uphold my new system, I felt defeated and inadequate. If learning what to do isn’t actually helping you get the RESULTS you want, it’s time to hire someone to help you. We waste so much time and energy thinking we should be able to figure things out ourselves when the solution may be simply having an expert by our side to uncover our blind spots and help us overcome our resistance. Why offer a tutor to a child who struggles with math? There are workbooks. Online websites and video games. You, or someone you know could help them. Why are private tutoring companies on the rise? Because nothing is faster and more effective than personalized learning with a compassionate human who is invested in your success. Why sign your kid up for swim lessons when you could teach them yourself? Because nothing is faster, cheaper and more effective at getting you the results you want than personalized learning with a compassionate human invested in your success. I was talking with a friend yesterday who told me she’d been working with a meditation teacher for the last 4 weeks. Meditation is sitting still and practicing thinking about nothing. I cannot imagine a more illogical thing to ask for help with, and yet, she said it made a huge difference. Knowing someone was invested in her success, helping her identify obstacles and overcome her resistance, proved to be extremely valuable to getting the results she wanted. Beware of the toxic thought, “I should be able to figure it out on my own” and focus instead on the quickest, most effective way to get the results you want.
Supermom PowerBoost – Your Zone of Genius
Hiring people to help you get the results you want in your life allows everyone to operate in their “zone of genius”. Gay Hendricks identifies 4 zones: Zone of Genius Zone of Excellence Zone of Competence Zone of Incompetence When I spend my time cleaning my house, I’m operating in my Zone of Competence. I can do it, it’s not utilizing my highest skill set. I grumble and complain, I cut corners and feel resentful that I’m the only one working. When my house cleaner comes, she’s a whirlwind of tidy efficiency. She sees things I don’t see. She gets under, over, and inside. She treats my home like her personal work of art. She fixes, she beautifies, and blesses my home with her cheerfulness. I don’t know if it’s her Zone of Genius but she sure appears to be pleased when she leaves my house. If I was to think “I can do it myself and so I should,” I would be robbing her of the opportunity to do the work she loves to do. If you really want to feel successful in your life, and feel like you are using your gifts and talents to make the world a better place, try to spend as much time as possible in your zone of genius. Find opportunities to allow others to operate in their zone of genius. I can take photos of my kids myself, but I love hiring photographers to work their magic and see how much better theirs turn out. Hiring life coaches to give you the results you want in your life is also giving them the opportunity to be in their Zone of Genius. I think The Great Resignation is indicative of more people moving closer to their Zone of Genius. They are leaving jobs that aren’t as fulfilling for ones that are more in line with who they want to be. It’s easy to get stuck in your Zone of Excellence and Zone of Competence, but just because you are good at it, doesn’t mean it is worth your time. Delegate activities you do not love to others who do, and hire a coach to help you spend more time in your Zone of Genius.Quote of the Day:
“One of the most important things we do for our children is to present them with a version of adult life that is appealing and worth striving for.” Madeline Levine10 Powerful Questions
5 Questions every morning to give you clarity and intention.
5 Questions every evening to give you satisfaction and gratitude.
This is the best way to get you in the driver’s seat of your life.