Get Clarity in 2024

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Get Clarity in 2024

Mental and emotional clarity is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves but when you are surrounded by other people’s needs, personalities, demands and desires, self clarity is a difficult thing to access. 

When we feel clear, we know who we are and what we want. It makes it easy to set goals for ourselves or get into alignment with our integrity. Mental and emotional clarity helps us feel connected to ourselves as well as others, grateful and content with our lives. 

If I could put clarity in a pill, I would give it to all my clients and friends. Clarity feels wonderful. It’s like sitting in the driver’s seat of your life. You have your destination entered into the map. You have the power to steer your life in the direction you want and you are in control. 

But how do you get it if you don’t have it? 

Do not go further into 2024 without this magic pill. 

Here is the 4 step process I’ve been using lately to help me get some much desired clarity as I enter into 2024. 

  1. Retreat – Take some time away from the noisy, self absorbed people in your life (children, boss, parents, partner, dog, sibling and social media). They all have their own agendas and ideas about what you SHOULD want with your life. Physically move away from them. Go to a library, hotel or drive your car to a park with a nice view. Someplace devoid of clutter. A chapel, an art gallery, or a furniture store? Get some peace and quiet so you can hear YOUR OWN thoughts, needs and desires. 
  2. Reflect – Look back on 2023. What were your proudest accomplishments? What were the highlights? What were the worst parts that you do not want a repeat of? Notice the negative but use this exercise to practice celebrating all the good. Give yourself a pat on the back. It’s too easy to think about the negative, give yourself credit for the good things you created last year, feel grateful and thank yourself for all your hard work keeping your family afloat.

Do not ever set goals from “not good enough” energy. Feel satisfied and proud before looking forward into 2024 and do a current assessment. 

Take out the life balance wheel (email me for a pdf copy or download it from the Supermom is Getting Tired Facebook Group) and rate each category on a scale of 1-10 based on how fulfilling each area of your life is. 10 is very rewarding and satisfying. 1 is neglected or out of whack. 

This will give you a great barometer for where you are now, what would help bring you back into balance. You can’t focus on all those areas at once or you’ll go nuts. Just pick one of your low scoring areas (or two if you must) and make that your focus for 2024. 

Use a daily journal writing practice to keep tabs on yourself. What was the best part of your day? When were you happiest today? What are you avoiding? Use the How We Feel App to track your emotions and start paying attention to YOU. This is the most important and valuable habit to have clarity on a daily basis. 

  1. Relationships – When our relationships aren’t healthy, it is a HUGE kryptonite. We bite our tongues, have conversations inside our heads, we feel guilty or inadequate, IT IS A HUGE DRAIN ON OUR ENERGY. Cleaning up our relationships with our children, partners, friends, parents and co-workers, is SO IMPORTANT when striving for clarity. Nothing is more important than having harmonious relationships, especially with those we see everyday. Don’t assume that other people need to change in order for you to be at peace. I help people everyday accept their loved ones for who they, stop wishing they were different, so they can love and accept them as they are. This is an inside job and a worthwhile one. 

HOWEVER, I will warn you…..sometimes we use relationship drama as a decoy to avoid looking at our own life and taking control. Worrying about your teenager’s grades or being annoyed at your crazy co-worker can provide a handy distraction if you are a little afraid to look forward into 2024 with clarity and control .

  1. Readying – Once you know who you are and what you want, the next step is to ready yourself. To find people who can teach you the skills you need to learn. Do you know someone who has a good relationship with their hot mess of a teenager? That parent might be just the person to learn unconditional love from. If you want to save your marriage, hanging out with your divorced friends may not be the people to source. 

Everything you ever want to know is available to you. Knowledge is available to you, you just need to do a little leg work to find the right teacher. Are you wondering how to return to work after a 10 year hiatus? Read books on the topic, this will give you a map. Want to explore selling passive income products? Search on Instagram and the algorithm will drop ideas into your news feed.

Life Coaches usually coach on areas they struggled and overcame so they can be a great resource if you want to lose weight, reinvent your life after raising kids, or learn to stop yelling at your kids. Get quality training from someone who has done what you want to do. Many people wait for clarity and inspiration to come to them but when you consume information, observe and study, the clarity and inspiration happen naturally but you also get a map on how to get where you want to go. 

I did this with following my dream to work while traveling abroad. I didn’t know anyone who was doing what I wanted to do so I listened to podcasts, subscribed to youtube channels and joined facebook groups. I took notes on the different ways to find reliable internet, I learned about travel health insurance and currency exchange rates. I talked with people who travel 51% of the year to save money, and those who are 100% nomadic. 

The best predictor of the future is the relevant past. If you want a repeat of last year, then you can coast, but if there is anything you want to change, it’s time to sit in the driver’s seat of your life, program your GPS to the destination you want to go in, learn more about this destination and start paying close attention to how you are getting there. 

  1. Retreat – Get away from the noisy, opinionated people. 
  2. Reflect – What’s working for you? What isn’t? Pay attention everyday to what lights you up and follow that thread. Know who you are and what you want.
  3. Relationships- Make sure your relationship drama isn’t weighing you down. Cleaning up your relationships will clear out your mind and make room for positive forward momentum. 
  4. Readying – Time to study and learn some new skills from qualified people who have been where you want to go. 

This is how you will get clarity in your life. The clarity will give you purpose, direction, enthusiasm and satisfaction. 

If you sign up for the 10 Daily Questions at LifeCoachingforParents.com/10Q, I’ll be sure to send you a Life Balance Wheel also. 

clarity

Speaking of Clarity, I want to tell you what i have decided about the future of this podcast. I retreated, I reflected, I focused on my relationships and I have been readying myself for this announcement! 

I am going to record the next 9 podcast episodes about the 9 different enneagram types. I did an obsessive deep dive on the enneagram during my hiatus and what I love about it and all personality typologies is how it increases compassion and understanding of ourselves and our families. I will be helping you with step 3 and 4 of gaining clarity in the next 9 episodes because understanding personality types is doing a learning deep dive with the purpose of  improving our relationships (including the relationship we have with ourselves). I cannot wait to share these with you. I will give examples of which supermom kryptonite is most likely to plague each enneagram type and how to parent your teen based on which enneagram personality you see emerging. It’s going to be great fun and super helpful to you so keep your eyes peeled! 

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