- “Let me tell you what to do.” If you’ll just step aside, I can take over and do a much better job at managing your life than you are. This may be true but it’s not your lesson to learn and this type of “help” leaves both parties feeling frustrated and ignored.
- “I feel bad for you.” I’ll jump into suffering with you in hopes it will eliminate and relieve your burden. I will feel sad & scared in solidarity with you so at least you aren’t alone. As well meaning as this is, this version leaves both parties feeling crappy and unable to see solutions.
- I’m worried about you so if you could worry too, I’ll feel better. This version of “helping” is common for parents to do to kids but it’s really about helping “the worrier” feeling more comfortable. Asking someone else to change their behavior so you can feel better, ignores the real problem and real solution.
- Your friends confide in you about their problems.
- You find yourself thinking more about other people’s problems than your own.
- You find yourself avoiding certain people because strong emotions come up when you are with them.
- You hear yourself telling others “What you need to do is…..” or saying “Why doesn’t she just _____________ and then her life will be fine.”
- Watching your loved ones or friends repeat the same mistakes really bugs you.
- You worry more than you like and wish you knew how to stop.
- Your children come to you with their problems and you’d like to help them feel better, without “fixing” it for them.
- You can’t stand watching your children struggle.
|How many are coming?|
10 Powerful Questions
5 Questions every morning to give you clarity and intention.
5 Questions every evening to give you satisfaction and gratitude.
This is the best way to get you in the driver’s seat of your life.