- If you and your child are in a quick, back & forth exchange and suddenly there is a delay, it could mean they are thinking about a response.
- If your child suddenly changes the subject “What’s for dinner?” or the tone (getting very serious after a light hearted exchange) they may be in a conversation they would rather avoid.
- In order to distance ourselves from something uncomfortable (lying), we often will switch away from the first person or from using pronouns all together. “There was a Starbucks near the movie theater that stayed open late so everyone just hung out.”
- Non-committal language “probably” “maybe” “I guess” “possibly” unless is this is your kids typical way of communicating.
- Lots of extraneous and specific details, especially if it includes the words “To be honest” or “To tell you the truth….”
- Repeating your question (to buy themselves time to think of an answer) and responding to an accusation with a generalized statement “Meeting people online is dangerous” rather than saying, “I only talk to people online that I have met in person”.
- Changing tense in the middle of a story (if this is unusual for your child) “I said I’d be home by 10, but I was thinking I don’t have to get up early tomorrow, so I drove to Emily’s house for a little bit.”
- Covering the mouth, throat or face with their hand while talking. Avoiding eye contact, or staring straight in the eyes in an unnatural way. No blinking or lots of blinking.
- Shrinking their body to make it smaller or turning it away from you while talking.
- Stiff, robotic like movements and facial expressions.
- A reaction that seems out of proportion to the situation.
- The timing seems off between the emotions and the words, “I think it’s disrespectful that Kyle would lie like that to his parents”… pause, followed by a disapproving look.
10 Powerful Questions
5 Questions every morning to give you clarity and intention.
5 Questions every evening to give you satisfaction and gratitude.
This is the best way to get you in the driver’s seat of your life.